


Give Me Therapy

by cantwriteforsheit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Polygamy, Schizophrenia, Threesomes, beruani - Freeform, highschool, i swear i'm working on it, i'm trash when it comes to anything, i'm trash when it comes to updates, school au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:06:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2116149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantwriteforsheit/pseuds/cantwriteforsheit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his chronic nightmares and schizophrenia start affecting his academics, Bertholdt Fubar's mom and step dad put him in group therapy. The last people he expects to meet there are a few sport jocks from his own school, Reiner Braun and Annie Leonhardt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

Autumn is my favorite season for a number of reasons, but I think the biggest reason is the transition. I know all of the seasons are transitions, but to me, autumn is like getting ready for bed. You’ve worked hard all day, your feet are sore, and you finally can slump on your bed and watch Netflix for eternity until you pass out. To me, that’s what autumn was. Plus, the weather cooled down so I could wear my scarves and sweaters, I loved the colors, and there was something about the smell of rain on asphalt that seemed really romantic. 

It was a slightly cloudy autumn afternoon that I found myself staring out the window, eyes fixed on a drop of water on a leaf resting on the window sill. The sun was hitting it just right, casting a rainbow reflection against the peeling white paint. My eyes moved over it again and again, remembering how I had learned the science behind it in 7th grade, but that lesson had long since been forgotten. So, instead of thinking, I stuck to admiring the colors and how the drop of water seemed to undulate slightly due to the slight breeze outside. 

“Bert!” 

My attention snapped back to my surroundings, eyes darting around to the three concerned faces all looking at me. One pair of eyes shone with annoyance, another with concern, and a third returning down to the phone in her hand with a soft “tch”. 

“Bertholdt, did you hear what we were saying?” Miss Ral asked me, but not in a quizzical manner. I liked Miss Ral. She was kind and understanding and she always seemed willing to help me. Unfortunately I was actually pretty decent at literature, so the fact that I so often sought her assistance meant that it was personal. Still, she made me feel important because she actually listened to me, which was more than my parents did.

“Of course he didn’t, the kid never listens.” My stepdad growled, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms with an ugly scowl smeared across his face. My mother didn’t look up from her phone, but instead continued to flick her them up the screen, looking at her Facebook feed or something. I looked back to Miss Ral, ignoring my stepdad’s comment and nodding. 

“Can you paraphrase it back to me?” she prompted, smiling slightly and blinking a few times. I had learned that instead of nodding, Miss Ral blinked to show encouragement. It was nice because it was subtle, and yet the action still held meaning to me.

“We need to explore new options to help with my condition, since what we’re doing now obviously isn’t working.” I replied, my voice low from not talking in a while.  
“That’s right.” Miss Ral said, looking down at the sheet of paper in front of her. 

“Now, you already attend weekly therapy for your schizophrenia, correct?” she asked, her gaze flicking up to meet mine.

“Yes.” 

“And you’ve been having the nightmares since…?” 

“Since I was eleven.”

An ugly chuckle pushed its way out of my stepdad’s nose, he looking at me as one might look at a particularly distasteful slug. 

“Maybe if you just quit being such a pussy, things like nightmares wouldn’t bother you. What are you, seven years old?” he asked, still laughing slightly. I looked down, preferring to study the indent in my left middle finger where my pencil had worn a flat patch of skin than witness the awkward exchange of glances from the adults. Miss Ral cleared her throat and she picked up the papers and tapped them on the table to straighten them, deciding to ignore the comment. It was a wise decision, as there was no way of talking about these things with my step dad. He didn’t my problems seriously and seemed to think that teasing me about it was going to help me man up. (Everybody has nightmares, get over it. Just block out the voices, don’t listen to them.) Thanks, that advice helps a ton. My mom made sure I went to therapy every week and asked me how I was doing every once in a while, but that was about all the involvement my parents had with my condition. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I was never really close to my mom. She got pregnant by accident so she wasn’t particularly sparing with outward affection. I did, after all, ruin her plans of making it big with her high school band. (Yeah, she actually told me that.) My biological father was like the other side of the coin. He married my mom and took up three jobs to support us and spent all the time with me that he could spare. However, he died in a car accident was I was ten. The next five years were filled with strange men in and out of the house, until my mom had met my step dad. A year later they were married, and my mom had someone to occupy herself with again. I only wish she had chosen her next husband on character rather than dick size. (I don’t really like my step dad. Bitter towards my mom?....maybe a little bit.)

“I think…” Miss Ral started, scribbling down a number on the corner of a paper and tearing it off,

“That I have an option worth exploring.” She slid the paper across the table to me, so I picked it up and looked at the name.

“Hanji Zoe. She’s my fiance’s coworker, and I know she’s rather excellent with teens. She runs a group therapy every week with other kids your age.” Miss Ral explained, glancing at my parents.

I looked at the paper, the name and number written in her loopy, feminine writing.

“Do you really think group will do anything for him?” my mom piped up, her eyes finally on Miss Ral instead of her iphone. 

Miss Ral nodded, her strawberry blonde hair bouncing slightly.

“I think that it’s worth a shot. If Bertholdt is getting so little sleep due to his condition that he practically sleeps through school, his grades will suffer more than they already are from his inability to focus at all times.” She explained, using very small hand gestures. I recognized them from when she taught in the classroom; she saved those for when she was addressing quiet students. She was obviously glad that my mom was finally taking part in the conversation.

My mother nodded, giving my step dad a “hey” and a nudge when he started to grumble about how I could just get over it.

“We can give it a try and after a month we’ll see if there’s any improvement,” my mom said, standing and tucking her phone in her back pocket. That meant the matter was settled and we were leaving.  
“I think that’s an excellent decision. Thank you so much for your time, Mr. and Mrs. Hoover.” Miss Ral said, standing as well and shaking my parent’s hands. She then turned to me and smiled, shaking my hand as well.  
“Remember we’re all here to support you, Bertholdt.”  
I nodded, tucking my hands into my jean pockets. Honestly I was tired of hearing that, but she meant well.  
“Thanks.”

As the three of us walked out of the classroom and down the hall, leaving maybe the only adult who cared about my wellbeing in the lit classroom, I got to listen in on my step dad complaining about the cost. 

“It’s not like I’m maid of money, Ang.”

“We can call and see how much it is.” 

“Or we can just shove some Night Quil down his throat and call it good.”

“You know that doesn’t work…”

Deciding I didn’t really want to listen, I pulled my iPod out of my back pocket and unraveled the headphones, jamming them unnecessarily deep into my ears and pressing play. A soft piano melody started through my head, taking my mind away from the unpleasantness of the entire situation. I was used to not getting much sleep due to horrifying nightmares full of blood and audible voices whispering in my head “you killed us, you murdered us” in my waking hours. However, recently it had gotten so bad that I only fell asleep during school and the voices had started earlier and earlier in the evening. Group therapy didn’t sound pleasant at all, but my mom had said a month. If I told her it wasn’t working she wouldn’t make me go and she could say “we tried.” That’s how most of my treatment went, to be honest.

We try, and we always seem to fail.


	2. We Are Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guess who. First day of group, totally fun stuff. The blonde beauties want to adopt a baby Bertl into their pack. 
> 
> The fragile, the broken,  
> sit in circles and stay unspoken  
> We are powerless  
> ~Hospital for Souls BMTH

I stopped outside the building, checking the address I had written in my school planner and comparing it to the gold letters on the rock face making up the railing of the porch. It certainly didn’t look like a therapist’s office. All of the ones I had been to had been born a rigid, professional look and a stiffness in the air that made you afraid to breathe, but this appeared to be nothing more than a residential house. On the street behind me, a car came to a stop and a girl that looked a bit younger than me stepped out, waved goodbye to the driver, and trotted up the steps and walked in. 

Well, that would have to do.

I followed suit, pulling the strap of my backpack tighter over my shoulder. I really wasn’t all that into this, but a month and it would be over. I would just stay quiet till then and not make a fuss. Upon entering, it looked like a normal entry way. A few benches with cushions, coats hung against the wall and shoes gathered in a random heap underneath. A few things started happening at once which immediately gave me a bad feeling about this.

First, a low buzz like an insect started in my right ear. However, I was used to it at this point. Thought it was quiet, it was easily recognizable as screams of agony, going in a long stream that only renewed every time it sounded like the crier needed to take a breath. She’s even earlier than usual I thought to myself. Secondly, I got extremely uncomfortable just because what the hell was this anyway? I didn’t want to pretend to get all cozy with a bunch of people I didn’t know, pour out my feelings and sing Kumbaya. The very thought made my unfortunately active sweat glands perk up. Already I was feeling warm and stuffy in this place despite the few open windows. And finally, where was this Hanji? I didn’t just want to wander into this building blindly…

Thankfully, I didn’t have to.

“Hey, you’re Fubar, right?” asked a familiar voice from behind me. I turned around, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed because I had been blocking the hall with my bulk. The boy behind me was none other than Reiner Braun. We had been in the same class ever since we started at Saint Maria High School, but he was a football jock and I had sort of had different crowds throughout the years. He was a junior like me, and was a varsity starter as fullback. He was also on the wrestling team and did discus in track and field. The shorter male was looking up at me, and it took me a moment to realize that I was, in fact, expected to respond.

“Oh, yeah. Bertholdt.” I said, nodding.

“Yeah, I remember you. You played basketball freshman year.” He recalled, pulling off his coat and hanging it on a peg. Well this isn’t awkward at all. Meeting class mates at therapy is totally fun. Oh well, he’s here for something to too.

The blonde looked me over, smiling slightly. It was actually a rather charming smile, I was pretty sure I had never seen him make that expression before. 

“First time here?”

I nodded, feeling even more embarrassed. Was it that obvious?

“Don’t worry about it. You can leave your bag on a bench and just go in, you don’t have to strip.” He joked, flashing a half grin. I chuckled mildly, surprised that such a ‘popular’ guy was being so friendly. I didn’t exactly have the best reputation at school. I had managed sports my freshman year, been more into orchestra and choir my sophomore year, and as a junior focused on guitar and photography. However, even with such a variety I was still classified as ‘strange’ since I did have a habit of asking the voices I heard to be quiet occasionally. That plus my reclusive tendencies and soft spoken demeanor sort of isolated me from everyone else without me even having to try. 

I followed Reiner down the hall and into a large sitting room, lined with chairs and couches. There were blankets tossed here and there with teens dotted around the room, but what had my attention was the far corner were a blanket fort had been constructed from the top of a bookshelf to the end of a long, flat bureau. On top of that bureau (which I was pretty sure was designed for plates or books,) was a woman with chocolate brown hair, and dark, fierce eyes. She was holding a clip board and making checks as her eyes wandered around the room, presumably taking attendance of who was there. She looked up, smiling as she saw Reiner and I enter the room. 

“Hey Hanji, this is Fubar.” Reiner called for me, making his way to sit down on a couch.

“Thank you Reiner.” She called, scribbling something down on her clipboard. I felt suddenly very awkward. Should I go over and meet her officially? Should I sit next to Reiner? Should I find a different place all together? 

I hardly had time to panic since Hanji flew from her perch, extending a hand toward me and curling the clip board under her arm.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Bertholdt. You can call me Hanji, I’m the director of this session.” She said with a plesent, almost over-eager smile.

“Thank you for having me.” I said, not really thankful but needing something polite to say.

“Thank you for being here. If you’ll excuse me...” She said before hurried away, settling an argument that had risen between what looked like a twin brother and sister. I immediately slipped back into panic mode. Great, what was I supposed to do now?

“Hey, Bertholdt, you can sit with me.”

I turned around, thankful that Reiner had offered and I didn’t have to ask. I walked over to the blonde, sitting next to him and practically sinking into the fluffy couch. 

“Thanks.” I said, deperatly trying to not be completely swallowed by the hungry furniture.

“Don’t worry about it, being the new kid sucks.”

I nodded, finally managing to get myself somewhat upright. I checked my watch, reading 5:32. That meant they would start any minute. As if on queue, Hanji resumed her place in her blanket fort bureau and set down her clip board.

“All right, everyone, time to begin.” She called, everyone else falling silent. Just then, the creaking of the door announced the arrival of a late comer. Everyone turned to look in the door, and I myself could hardly believe what I was seeing.

Ever since I had seen her the first day of freshman year, I had been taken with one Annie Leonhardt. The short blonde was perfectly fit, her full seasons of volleyball, basketball, and track keeping her muscular for one her size. In fact, it was safe to say that pretty much every guy in Saint Maria’s had a crush on her body, but there was more to Annie than that. 

Annie’s default facial expression was slightly terrifying to say the least. She had large, cold, grey-blue eyes that seemed to have the ability to freeze the hearts of men. She always looked either completely uninterested with a straight lips drawn in a taunt line, or down-right terrifying when she scowled. At least, those were the only expressions I had seen. However, even though she had a killer body and she was an adorable foot shorter than I was, there were other reasons I liked Annie. She came across as such a hard-ass and always had an air of determination to do her best. 

Now I’m not claiming to know anything more than anyone else, but I like to think I can recognize pain in people’s eyes. You can see it in her occasionally, but every time she lets her guard slip she made a fast recovery. I wouldn’t be surprised, especially now that I was seeing her in therapy, that she was an extremely troubled girl yet she worked so hard to appear so strong. 

Now, this miniscule blonde goddess was headed directly for me. I could feel the sweat collecting on my hairline as she approached me and sat right next to me, sinking into the couch next to me. 

“Late again, Annie?” Reiner taunted, leaning forward to look across to where Annie was sitting on my other side. She leaned forward, and for the first time I saw her with a sort of grin.

“Hey Reiner.” She said simply before sitting back, using a finger to brush her hair out of her face as she directed her attention toward Hanji.

Now, I actually was planning on paying attention for the first day. However, I found myself surrounded by blonde beauties. What was more, was that with how fluffy and deep the couches were, Annie ended up sinking to my side due to our weight difference. At one point she shifted slightly, her eyes flashing to meet mine for a moment. I muttered a quiet apology and shifted closer to Reiner, but she didn’t do anything else.

Needless to say, I don’t really remember anything from that first day except that I developed a suspicion that Annie wore men’s deodorant. (I later learned this to be true. “Women’s doesn’t work as well, besides, this stays on longer and smells better”) Not only that, but the screaming continued in one ear and I could hear a man shouting ever so faintly in my left, but that was nothing compared to late at night. It was easy to ignore for the most part at this caliber. Once Hanji dismissed us, I found myself exiting with Reiner and Annie, picking up my bag on the way out. When we were all collected on the sidewalk, Reiner asked which way I was going and it turned out we could walk together for a bit. Annie was in the middle, with Reiner on the street side and me on the inside. As soon as we started off, Annie once again pulled the fringe out of her face and looked up at me.

“So who’re you?” she asked, squinting as the sun hit her eyes since she had to look up at me.

“Bertholdt Fubar.” I replied, hoping and praying that I wasn’t obviously blushing. She simply nodded and looked forward again. I thought she was done till she spoke up and offered me her hand.

“Annie.”

“Pleased to meet you.” I said, disregarding the fact that I had known her for three years and shaking her small hand. She smirked (another new expression) and laughed lightly. (It sounded like fucking angels, okay?)

“Ah, I know you from school. You’re in my English class, yeah?”

I nodded, tucking my hands in my pockets and looking down at her. This was the most I had ever spoken to her and she was initiating conversation, which was better than anything I could have done. 

“So what’d you think of the session?” Reiner asked, glancing at my direction. Shit.

“I-uh…wasn’t really listening.” 

Annie smiled and nodded, Reiner laughed out loud.

“You’ll be just fine.” Annie giggled, another sound that made me look to the side. Don’t blush. Don’t do it. Why is she so cute?  
The sidewalk we were on finally led us to the lot where I had parked my car, and funny enough it was where Reiner was parked as well.

“Am I taking you home?” Reiner asked, looking at Annie. She nodded and jumped into his truck, pulling out her phone.

“Hey Bertholdt, what’s your number?” she called, her thumbs flying furiously over the touchscreen. My face didn’t help show my surprise as I choked out my number, Reiner entering it into his phone as well. 

“Well, see ya at school.” Reiner called, getting into his Toyota truck after Annie. As they pulled out Annie waved slightly before they pulled out onto the main road, to which I awkwardly waved back slightly.

Oh my god.  
My number was in Annie’s phone.  
My number was in Reiner’s phone.

I unlocked my Camry, ducking into the seat that was adjusted low so that my head wouldn’t scrape the ceiling. As I started the car and rolled down the windows, a thought occurred to me.

Reiner was taking Annie home? Were they dating? I was pretty sure that would be common knowledge around school, but you never knew. I pressed my lips together in a thin line as I maneuvered out of my space and started for home. That would be a cruel, sick joke if both attractive people who sat next to me were dating each other. I let out a sigh as I picked up some speed on the main road, admiring the colors of the leaves.

Group was pretty much exactly what I had been expecting, with the exception of Annie and Reiner. I couldn’t help but wonder why they attended, or if they had something wrong with them like me. It sounds so bad, I know, just bear with me- I sort of with they did. It gets lonely being the freak with a mental illness. I didn’t want to just ask them, but I was terribly curious. And what more, they seemed to have adopted me pretty quickly. I wasn’t sure for what reason, but when I got home I had a text.

{???} This is Annie. Want to hang out after next week’s session with Reiner and I?

I blinked in surprised, mouth slightly open. Hang out with them? Why on earth were they being so nice? I added her number to my contacts and then took my time to type back a message, not wanting to appear frantic.

{Bertholdt} Sure, what did you guys have in mind?

As I put my pocket back in my phone, I took a second to sit in my car that was parked in the driveway. A smile even found its way to my lips.

Maybe group wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I absolutely hate writing first person but I'm doing it to challenge myself. Anyway, I make a lot of mistakes so if there are some in this chapter (which I have no doubt there are, I didn't bother to proof it) that's why. 
> 
> Thanks for hanging in for chapter two. I know I'm a shitty writer but what'cha gonna do? Expect chapter three either tomorrow or the next day.


	3. Can I Please Come Down?

The next week went by pretty normally. I would try my best to pull and all-nighter so I wouldn’t have to face my nightmares but would then doze off around two, only to wake up at around four tangled up in my sheets, drenched in a cold sweat. I would get ready for school and then sleep with what time I had left over until I had to leave my house around 7:45. My schizophrenia was most active 7pm to around 3am, so those morning naps were usually pretty peaceful. I would then go to school and try my best to pay attention, but then doze off and get reprimanded. The only thing that was out of the ordinary was Reiner and Annie’s behavior toward me.

On Tuesday, when I was walking to anatomy with my lab partner, Annie passed me in the hall and gave me a slight nod of acknowledgement. (“Woah, dude, what did you _do?_ ” – Jean Kirchstein. Lab partner, bit of a prick until you got to know him, and secretly gay for his best friend. He was unaware of this last fact since he spent all of anatomy drooling over the back of Mikasa Ackerman’s head, but we all knew he would get there eventually.) Reiner was a bit more open, flashing me a grin when we saw each other and talking to me in the hall a few times. I know it sounds dumb, but it made me feel a little better. Even though we all hardly knew each other, Annie and Reiner were going out of their way to acknowledge me and it made me feel a bit less invisible.

Besides, I was ridiculously excited for Thursday. It wasn’t group that I was looking forward to (obviously), but the following activities. I hadn’t just gone and hung out with people since sophomore year, and saying that I was desperate for some time with others my age was a bit of an understatement. Annie had told him that there was this park a little way from the therapy house where she and Reiner just goofed off and did homework. I still wasn’t sure about their relationship status, and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t bothering me. It’s not like I thought I had a chance with either of them, I just wanted to know. Well…maybe. I just wanted to know, okay?

School on Thursday seemed to drag on and on and on. Every time I though a class should be nearing its end, I checked the clock and it had only been five minutes. Reiner joined my table at lunch, which was a little strange at first since he was a jock. I know it sounds stupid that cliques are such a big deal in my school, but it wasn’t so much the different clique than the fact that no one really knew him. However, once everyone got over his intimidating appearance, he was easy to get along with because he was so laid-back. Jean’s best friend Marco was very welcoming and got the conversation going, and eventually Connie (computers and band) got into an enthusiastic conversation with the blonde giant about hockey. By the time the bell rang, Connie’s should-be-girlfriend-but-wasn’t-yet Sasha had the entire table, including Reiner, laughing at her reaction to Connie attempting to steal something off her tray.

Overall, it was actually sort of nice. Reiner and I got to talk a little more and I could feel the initial we’re-just-becoming-friends-and-I-know-nothing-about-you-ness slipping away as I got more comfortable in his presence. Besides, while others had his attention I could steal a few glances at him. His jaw was strong and square, and his eyes sort of squinted on default. I got used to it after a while, as well as the lines that formed between his swooping eyebrows. When he was listening to someone, his serious face was sort of menacing, but then he would react and his eyes would lift and he would smile and become ridiculously _cute._ What was with that? Cute friends were the worst, especially for me since I was pan. If someone was attractive to me than they were attractive and I would think about it a lot. Maybe I was just becoming attached because he was giving me the time of day. Who knows.

I actually managed to listen to Hanji this afternoon, except she didn’t do a lot of talking. A few people were sharing today and asking for support so I did my best to be polite and pay attention (which was difficult, since I was once again in a beautiful blonde sandwich). I thought it was a little strange to ‘ask for support’. I didn’t really see how a group of people that you saw once a week could do all that much, but I didn’t mind listening. I actually think it was sort of beneficial, for me, at least. Here were these kids my age, spilling out some of their secrets and revealing their problems and it made me feel a little better, like I wasn’t the only one. No one else mentioned my specific ‘issues’, but there were of other things like eating disorders, anxiety, depression, mood disorders, paranoia and the like. Time went by pretty quickly and before I knew it I was battling the couch for me freedom to stand and join in the stampede of teens headed for the door.

Halfway through the hall, I felt a hand grasp the back of my shirt. I whipped my head around in surprise to see it was Annie, but she wasn’t even looking at me. She was too busy avoiding being run over by the twins that had been arguing last week, and it dawned on me that she was using me as a shield to get through the crowd. I quickly looked ahead again to avoid awkward eye contact and kept going until we all spilt onto the sidewalk, Annie releasing me as we stepped to the side to wait for Reiner. She pulled out her phone, her pale blonde bangs falling into her face as she looked down and began to type, so I fixed my eyes on the door to spot Reiner. When he finally did emerge he was talking to Hanji, who patted him on the shoulder a few times before he went down the steps and Hanji returned into the building.

“Sorry, she wanted to talk to me. Ready to go?”

“Yup.” Annie said, popping the ‘p’ and the end of her response and stuffing her phone back into her pocket. She pulled out a piece of gum and tossed it in her mouth, and I could tell almost instantly by the smell that it was bubblegum.

“Lez’ go.” She said, taking the lead with her thumbs tucked under the straps of her backpack as Reiner and I walked behind.

Now, what happened next was not entirely my fault. Reiner _did_ start it. As we were walking he and I made eye contact, and he pointed with his chin. It took me a second, but then I realized that it was pointed directly at Annie’s firm, round ass. I instantly turned a deep shade of red and locked my eyes on my shoes, which caused Reiner to laugh out loud. This was possibly the worst thing that could happen, because it caused Annie to turn around with a look that could freeze hell.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, her tone of voice obvious that she wasn’t fucking around.

“Nothing, just staring at your ass.” Reiner said, laughing. I turned and looked at him with an expression that probably read as pure horror, but to my even greater surprise than Reiner’s response was Annie’s reaction.

“Oh.” She turned back around and started walking again.

I looked at Reiner, my mouth and eyes still wide open. He smiled and shrugged, continuing on as if nothing had happened. And that was that.

 

The park was actually really pleasant. There was a jungle gym and a swing set, as well as a pond with a willow over it and a bench underneath and lots of nice grass. It was the pond that caught my eye, though, as we inhabited the children’s jungle gym and pulled out our binders. Annie followed my gaze, humming slightly.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” she asked as she flipped through her tabs. I nodded, pulling my big fat English book out of my backpack. I’d have to bring my camera next time, it was practically begging to be photographed. We all worked separately for the next fifteen minutes until Reiner and I paired up for math, as we had the same class but at different periods. Annie had almost no classes in common with ours, but she seemed to be perfectly fine working alone. She was a little scary when she was concentrating, to be honest. Her eyebrows dipped even lower than usual and she went from icy to terrifying. I was glad I wasn’t that homework. Reiner and I would each work on a problem then compare answers and figure out where we went wrong if they were different. It was really nice and we got the assignment done faster than I normally would have. By then we had been working for a little over a half hour and Annie suggested we take a break. I was more than willing to comply, packing my math book back into my bag before extracting my large awkward self from the child-size jungle gym.

“Okay, we’ve got ten minutes.” Reiner called, tapping on the touchscreen of his phone a few times before putting it back in his pocket. He reached into his bag and pulled out a football.

“Go long.” He called as Annie started to sprint across the grass, eye on the ball. She caught it relatively easy, tossing it up slightly and spinning it in her hands as Reiner and I walked onto the field.

“Care to join?” Reiner asked, letting out a soft grunt as the ball was thrown at him with more umph than you would give credit to a 5 foot 1 girl.

“I’ll just watch, but thanks.” I said, sitting down on the grass.

“If you’re sure…”

 

I spend the next seven minutes enjoying watching Annie and Reiner throw the football. I’m not sure why, but it was sort of relaxing. They would banter back and forth to each other as the goofed around, Annie and one point barreling into Reiner. He hardly moved, but it was still amusing to watch. That was when I started to hear things.

_You did it._

_You killed me._

Why now? I checked my watch, feeling a little sinking feeling in my gut. It wasn’t even six yet and I was starting to hear things? I tried blocking them out, I tried so hard. But they just got worse.

_You murdered us. You killed YOU KILLED ME my daughter. Murderer._

I didn’t even hear Annie and Reiner calling to me. I was already hyperventilating, and I’m sure I was sweating.

_Killer. It’s all your fault._

No...no…I buried my face in my hands as screams filled my head, the dull roar of what sounded like a crowd of people filling my head. I felt two hands on my shoulder. I looked up into the eyes of Reiner and Annie, and that’s when things got really strange.

_MURDERERS. They killed us. She killed her. She killed my love. My Petra…_ it was a man’s voice, he was sobbing…

_They killed us. They’re responsible. Murderers. Murderers. MURDERERS._

Then it all stopped. Just like that. I blinked a few times, realizing that there had been tears pouring out of my eyes. Annie looked stunned, and Reiner looked concerned. I shook my head, feeling so incredibly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry.” I said, cracking a smile and I wiped the wetness of my face.

“The hell are you apologizing for, man?” Reiner asked. Even his voice sounded concerned.

“Are you okay?” Annie asked, and it was then that I realized how close she was. Annie was sitting right next to me, one hand gently running up and down my back in a comforting fashion. What the…?

“I’m fine now, but I think I should go home.” I said, taking a deep breath.

“It’s schizophrenia, isn’t it?”

I looked up to Reiner, eyes squinted slightly in a question. How did he guess?

“You kept saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘please, I didn’t do anything’.” Annie explained for him, reading the question in his eyes.

“…yeah.” I confessed. This was the first time, and my heart was racing. What were they going to say? Reiner offered me a hand up, which I took. He pulled me into a standing position, and that was when they both did something I was absolutely not expecting.

A hug.

Both of them wrapped their arms around me from each side, and I could feel the warmness flooding through me like a summer day.

“You ever need us, you call us, you got that?” Reiner asked, finally releasing him.

“We’re your friends now, so you can depend on us.” He finished, Annie nodding in agreement.

I was glad that when we left we went opposite directions to our respective houses, because I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, huh. Sorry about that. I got like a page into this chapter and hit a wall. It wasn't until tonight when I was sobbing over my homework that I got an email that someone had left a super nice comment so I opened it up and viola. 
> 
> So, it's rough since I was typing at the speed of light. Also, there was another scene that I wanted to add to this chapter but it decided to end before I could put it in. Sorry, it's got a mind of it's own. I'm thinking about starting another fanfic that doesn't make me want to jump off a cliff even more than I already do so keep an eye out for that (I'll probably actually put effort into that one so the writing won't be crap like it is in this one). Thanks guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I didn't put much time into this so it could be better but it's not because I wanted to get it posted. Congratulations on making it though the intro of my horrid writing. OOOH I WONDER WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXTTTTT.
> 
> And just a warning, there's a high possibility that this fic will contain smut later on. Consider yourselves warned.


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